Today my Saturday involved an early morning cafe breakfast, a playground jaunt, a last minute shopping dash for a birthday present (which ended up being a pretty great present if I do say so myself), a 3rd birthday party at another playground, nap time wrestles with both kids, a few hours of ‘me’ time (including a blissful half hour massage) at the shops, and dinner time visits from the family. This exhausting series of events, which is roughly on repeat most weekends is in incredible stark contrast to the social life of a ‘before-kids’ me. The transformation that a mother’s social life will go through within only a few years is insane.. and pretty damn hilarious in hindsight.. let me walk you through what I like to call ‘The Lifecycle of a Social Mama’.
Pre-child.. a wondrous, unhindered chapter in life where no one is dependant, ‘throwing caution to the wind’ is easily achievable and there are no comprehendible obstacles to binge watching 12 hours of Keeping up with the Kardashians. The true beauty of the ‘freedom’ stage is only ever recognised in hindsight and thus will never be fully appreciated.. except through wishful day dreaming whilst hanging out the day’s third load of laundry. Social perks of this stage include; anything last minute, the ability to leave the house with 5 minutes warning, ‘all-nighters’… followed by ‘sleep-all-dayers’,
‘Don’t worry friends… having a baby won’t change what we have’… we’ve all been there. Lets collectively shake our heads and smile wisely at our naive yet adorable former selves.
The buffer – otherwise known as ‘the fog’
The child is born! The shock, hormones and total coddling from everyone we know creates a wonderful fluffy cloud of solitude. Very normal to not leave the house for weeks, let alone wash hair, wear make up or change out of your partner’s trackpants.
When you’re still calling your 6 month old a newborn… it makes you feel a bit better about bailing on so many social invites and that permanent topknot that may need removing surgically. You may find yourself denying that anything has actually changed permanently and patiently waiting for things to get ‘back to normal’.
‘Hey gurrlllsss.. This mama is ready! In need of some pretty overpriced drinks, uncomfortable heels and lots of gf chatter!’ After dying a little bit inside when everyone agrees to meet up at the ridiculous hour of 10pm, you squeeze into your old favourite dress… then tear it off, have a meltdown, drink a wine and finally settle on some high waisted jeans, baggy top and heels (NOT a mum uniform… it’s worn with heels… right?)… and then you have the best.night.ever!! So so nice to wear make up, giggle with friends, hear about office politics/cute guys/etc again.
Ever attempted a 6am wake up call while nursing even a minuscule hangover?? Enough to slap you cold in the face that quite possibly big nights will now only be ‘special occasions’. Slowly over time you find that your weekends fill with more first birthday parties than 21st’s, you achieve more before 9am than over the rest of the day, and catching up with friends now involves take away coffees at gated playgrounds rather than cocktails and tapas at 9pm.
Revelation and Closure
That glorious, painful, refreshing and releasing moment when you realise that… I am a mum, my life has changed and change is good. 8pm is a very reasonable bedtime and I will from now on scoff at any tv show starting after 7.30pm. my brain is constantly whirring through feed times, nap times, which boob I fed off last, poo consistency, body temperatures… so this WILL be regurgitated in conversations sometimes. Friends please give me grace as this world is pretty all consuming. And gently change the subject when I’ve used up my ‘baby-talk’ daily quota.
Now excuse me while I try arrange a playdate for two weeks away, after some deadlines, before some more deadlines… preferably a few hours before nap time so I can squeeze in lunch still, near a shaded playground, with seats where I can feed, with a good cafe nearby… good Lord it better not rain and let’s just hope no one is teething or has nits!
Read Elise’s latest post on her blog, The Nature Edit for some gorgeous kiddy fashion inspo x
More about Elise
“Wife to someone ridiculously handsome. Mum to sassy, hilarious little Evie and gorgeous baby Lola. Past pro events planner who you now find in my loved escape of both exploring the inspiring and FUN world of kids interiors and fashion, while writing REAL, relatable and (hopefully) humorous posts on this incredible and overwhelming parenting gig!” @_baby_bean
Elise’s Website: babybean.co