10 Reasons Why I’m Not Cool Anymore

“I have well and truly hit that point! The level of mum-ness (and dad-ness) has been reached.. And in all honestly I’ve probably been here for a long long time but have only just realised it” By Elise Willson

I have well and truly hit that point! The level of mum-ness (and dad-ness) has been reached.. And in all honestly I’ve probably been here for a long long time but have only just realised it.

Oh realisation!! How harsh a revelation you are! Sitting around a table with friends and family, being generally quite civilised and ‘adult’, when upon hearing your currently toilet-training child would like to go use the loo, you loudly (and cheerfully) burst into your own rendition of ‘the toilet song’! Every family has their own version and each can be completely different to the next but they all serve two purposes; 1: create a jovial atmosphere around the otherwise horrendous task of teaching kids that nappies are no longer kosher, and 2: to starkly remind parents that any semblance of their former, cultured and ‘cool’ selves has now departed!

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And when looking back to my ‘glory days’ of social relevancy and hip-ness (yes I now say things like ‘hip’ can feel myself ageing), I definitely dwell on areas in which I thrived (ability to wear a bikini, Parisienne holidays as an 18 year old) and remove embarrassing lapses in judgement (velvet chokers and sparkly butterfly hair clips anyone??)..

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But now is now! Time to learn that my new season as a very uncool ‘grown-up’ is just as relevant and if anyone can own it, it’s gonna be me! So in the spirit of laughing at myself (before my kids are old enough to do it for me) here’s my 10 Reasons Why I’m Not Cool Anymore… 

  • I am always more excited about new Bonds Zippys patterns than New York Fashion Week – Paris Hilton could still be a big deal on the catwalks as far as I know.
  • When summertime rolls around I’m 100% more inclined to justify board shorts than bother waxing…
  • My kid’s birthdays parties might have their own petting zoo but when my 30th sneaks up on me I’ll probably be stuffing my face with buttered popcorn watching Hunger Games 7.
  • Excess coffee consumption is much more likely to cause harm than too many drinks on a (non-existent) night out.
  • Speaking of nights out ‘on the town’ (is it still called ‘the town’?)… I will probably order a vodka lime and soda and patronisingly smile at people dancing.
  • The only touring band that catches my attention is The Wiggles! For all I know Justin Timberlake and Coldplay are still the bees knees.
  • I say things like ‘the bees knees’.
  • I have well and truly completed the shopping graduation from Supre to Sportsgirl to Sussan… look out Suzanne Grae you’re next.
  • I’m more likely to Instagram food photos of savoury and freezable mini muffins than slow braised (vegan?) lamb shanks.
  • And Bali is looking less and less appealing… However that cruise with kids programs, all food included and only needing to unpack once!!!! Oh they’re speaking my language.

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But while it may seem easy to wallow in the predictable demise of my ‘cred’ (yeah I don’t know if anyone says that either), I have found delightful comfort in noticing that certain trends are forgiving of all us mamas… Birkenstocks, Nikes, Harems, Activewear, Topknots and Backpacks!! It seems that in some instances we can still rock it! And in reality, everyone goes down the same path so all them young’uns will catch up to us high-waist-jeans-wearing, Morning-Show-Watching and Superannuation-Planning oldies in no time.

Now excuse me while I go to bed at 8.30pm.

xxxx

Elise

 

More about Elise

Elise (8) copy

“Wife to someone ridiculously handsome. Mum to sassy, hilarious little Evie and gorgeous baby Lola. Past pro events planner who you now find in my loved escape of both exploring the inspiring and FUN world of kids interiors and fashion, while writing REAL, relatable and (hopefully) humorous posts on this incredible and overwhelming parenting gig!” @_baby_bean

Elise’s Website: babybean.co

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