As I sit here in my stretched out singlet and greasy topknot, eagerly awaiting morning nap time which means I can tune into the Oscars Red Carpet with a steamy coffee and probably a whole box of Jatz, I can’t help but come to the very natural conclusion that this ‘mama gig’ has so so many parallels to those glitzy Academy Awards.
- For one, preparation is KEY! Yes, my kids aren’t even awake yet and yes, I am already looking forward to nap time.. #soshootme.. but the reason I wake at an even more ungodly hour than my kids is so I can run around prepping the house for their day with more precision than those poor interns who have to arrange the Oscar celebrity seating arrangements. Seriously, I can imagine that juggling hundreds of celebrity egos and agents could even be worse than arranging four blended families at a wedding reception.
- It takes a village (or #squad apparently).. Surprise surprise, but those stunners gracefully stepping out of their limos (beside ‘eternal klutz’ J-Law) didn’t wake up looking that fresh. Many a hard working and unsung hero of the beauty, hair and styling world would have been working their five season old threads off for months to get their clients Red Carpet ready. I’m personally so very very dependent on my squad/extended family with helping me ‘parent’ that the thought of them leaving (or having their own lives) gives me heart palpitations.
- Ryan Seacrest is always lingering. Does he run the Oscars?? Or just American TV in general? Coz he sure as hell seems to wiggle his way into many of our mama worlds either with trashy entertainment updates or his adopted children, the Kardashians.
- Inappropriate gaffs abound! Chris Rock has nothing on my two year old yelling loudly in church yesterday, “My mummy has big booobiieessssss” 😐
- Sponsored by Spanx. If us mamas combine forces with the red carpet ladeez I think we can convince the company to bring out something that smoothes everything without giving weird underboob, back cleavage or mountains of sweat.
- Keep calm. I feel like a crowd of pushy photographers screaming my name for an hour would be rather similar to a toddler asking, “Why? why? why? why? but why? why? why?…..” You’ll notice the mama celebrities seem to handle it pretty smoothly.
- The show + the red carpet + the after parties goes for about 48 hours it seems 😐 Which honestly sounds horrendous! But I’m pretty sure I could survive it with my years of getting through sick households when you’re constantly washing sheets, taking temperatures and never sleeping.
All in all we’re well aware that the glitz and glamour is worlds away, but it is definitely a well deserved escape from the normal day to day. Because although I love chatting about your kids dietary needs (not really, I don’t care at all) maybe today we can discuss who wore it better! 😉
Oh and on a side note… Superman is British!! How was this missed? Can someone give him an Oscar for Best Presenter?
More about Elise
“Wife to someone ridiculously handsome. Mum to sassy, hilarious little Evie and gorgeous baby Lola. Past pro events planner who you now find in my loved escape of both exploring the inspiring and FUN world of kids interiors and fashion, while writing REAL, relatable and (hopefully) humorous posts on this incredible and overwhelming parenting gig!” @_baby_bean
Elise’s Website: babybean.co